Silent Rebellion

7:14pm: Steph
i love my muffin.
she's my addiction.
here is her addition.
*kiss*

1:40am: If there is at least one person in your life whom you consider a close friend, and whom you would not have met without the Internet, post this sentence in your journal.

i love all of my sketchy internet loves. meg, dave, cy, tina, jai, ryan...*mumbles on and on and on*

10:10pm:

You scored as Sloth. </td> Sloth 100% Gluttony 81% Wrath 81% Lust 69% Envy 56% Pride 50% Greed 13% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

11:36pm: all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream
the lyrics to the song i'm listening to:
i've been dreaming of the things i've learned about a boy who's bleeding celebrate to elevate the joy is not the same without the pain.
its so factal using up your oxygen you know i'm shallow calling out for extra help you've got to let me in or let me out
ooh something to talk about, yeah something to talk about
something to talk about- badly drawn boy

it goes on, but i'm too lazy to type it all.

i watched about a boy twice in two nights. i love that movie so much. probably because the boy looks like one of my best friends in a 12 year old form. Sounds kind of like him too- only Ryan doesnt have that thick of an english accent anymore. *tear* i still love you ryan my dear.

So MNI's been acting up lately and it's kind of annoying- but hey- they're trying...and they *finally* got the temps up so i cant complain...

look at the new pretty avatar i made!! i love that quote.

man i really wanna go to britain. really really bad. a year and a half seems way to far away and i dont wanna wait. plus my boyfriend lives there and i get to see him then. hehehe.

*pokes the movie* it's my little ryan lookalike. hehehe

ok i think i'm done for now....

12:14am: My angst tastes like...

Lime

11:53pm: ugh
i'm dying.....

9:04pm: hehehe



hehehehehehehehehehehehheehheehhe fun times.

8:17pm: I'm a barmy pyschopath.

and i have become part of the vernacular..

11:15am: Sleep versus Caffeine...you decide.
Ok so, I'm really kind of looking forward to this week. Here's the plan:
Kristina and I are absolutely insane.
So it's exam week and.... because I'm awesome.... I haven't studied for anything. Not that my classes really require it, but oh well.
So it's cramming to the fullest extent of the word.
If you think it's like... staying up till odd hours of the morning- reconsider, my friend...
Lets just say starting monday at around 10:00 on Monday i will NOT be sleeping until sometime early friday morning.
Lets count the hours shall we?
24 hours on tuesday wednesday and thursday- that's 72. Plus 14 on Monday- 86. Plus 12 on Friday- 98. *smiles* 98 hours. having fun. Oh and i cant sleep on Friday until i "go to bed" so i'll be up for over 100 hours.

GO TEAM

5:09pm:
i like my new avatar- it makes me happy.

2:27am: having fun with makeup at 1:30 am... chelly fairy with red hair... wee. ^.^

4:00pm: Stress Balls and Shampoo
So I'm kind of really excited about me new stress ball. It's blue and jelly-like and fulls of weird beads.
I still feel like i have my scarf around my neck... maybe its just my hair....
I kind of really want to take a shower, but almost dont feel like getting up
I got 2.5 hours of sleep last night due to procrastinating on my Bible homework, which i finished, thank god.
However, I'm funtioning on 2.5 hours of sleep, minimal caffeine, random eating times and no rest for the weary....
I have to do my portfolio over the weekend and thru next week for Bible class and that's going to kill me.
My Keo Kio date is the coolest kid ever, love you Eeny. *blows kisses*
I'm going to shower if i can find a way to get myself up out of my bed.

11:56pm: Sunset Strip Bitch
I think i just need to sit here and cuss something out really fucking back. Maybe that will be therapudic enough for me. *takes deep breathe* here goes.

die you fucking bitch. i knew there was a reason i never fucking liked you in the first place. i was kind to you, civil to you, never uttered a hateful word to you until i found out that you're a sleazy lying bitch who wouldnt give a damn about me if i were laying, writhing with a stake through my heart. i wouldnt be surprised if it were your fat ugly little hand at the end of it, twisting it and grinning sadistically whilst doing so. laughing while crimson blood stained my breast and neck and stomach, all because of your stupid fucking black twisted heart of fucking stone

god damn mother fucker kiss my cute white ass and enjoy it. dont fucking say anything that you dont mean to me, dont fucking snigger at me behind that preciously sheilding computer screen of yours. your fat face is mine bitch.

*feels even more agitated* oh fucking well. i'll fucking get over it. i just need a fucking break. from every-fucking-thing in my life right now. everyone just back the hell away from me before i spontaneously combust and gnaw every one of you to fucking pieces. *grumbles*

peace.

3:04pm: Christmas Pictures
This is going to go out on my christmas card this year. ^.^

10:35pm: Thanksgiving
I really really hate this holiday. I realized that its just the celbrationg of the brief union of white man and native americans before the white man stole their land and killed them all off.... *grumbles and kicks turkey off the table* STUPID BIRD!

10:59pm: Public Opinion, feel free to reply.
The World Is: _______________________________________________________________________.


i'll be keeping a record of the best ones. so reply.

3:13pm: Social Distortion and Cheezits
A friday night...all alone...guess who's definitely not a loser. ^.^

So i went to the mall after school and got a hot haircut. It's so awesome. It's all shaggy and pretty and in my eyes and i lurve it. But shh...you guys at school aint sposed to know, so it's a secret. ^.^

SHOUT OUT TO MY MUFFIN! GOOD LUCK TOMORROW NIGHT! I REALLY REALLY WISH I COULD COME!! I LOVE YOU!

I really need to sleep now...so I'll leave you with this. It's a poem I wrote today. I enjoy it immensely.

You can kiss my ass
With you perfect hair and luscious lips
Damn those sparkling blue eyes and clear, healthy skin
Don't wrap your muscular arms around my waist
And tell your horse to go drink somewhere else
Sod off, you stupid pureblooded animal!
Daddy paid for your designers, because Daddy's rich I bet
Touch me again and you die
I don't want to be swept off my feet in your perfectly structured arms
I don't want to be put, side saddle, on your glimmering white horse
Don't whisper sweet nothings in my ear
Don't wait for true love's first kiss to kiss me
Kiss me yourself, and figure me out
You think you can just show up from nowhere
Kiss me tenderly, caress my body, promise me all the riches in the world
And carry me off into the sunset
I'll bet your castle is pretty isn't it?
A huge stone structure with beautiful tapestries and comfortable furniture
A huge bed where we would share precious secrets
On the night that we will have wed
Secrets like you're a virgin
…and I'm not.
Would you still love me?
Or would you put me back on your big dumb animal and carry me back
To where I came from
Take me off, set me down, kiss me
And ride straight to the next town to rescue your next damsel in distress
What a funny thought.
What can I tell you about myself that you don't already know?
I seem to be your dream girl
You knew that just from looking at me from the grassy knoll over yonder
With the orange and purple sunset set as a backdrop
Did you expect me to fall on my knees
And praise the good lord for finally sending someone for me?
A tall handsome movie star on the perfect set singing the perfect song
Get the hell away from me, and take your stupid horse with you.
If you need me
I'll be waiting for my real Prince Charming

9:40am: home sick
Bah...my back's been hurting all week so I stayed home.

I've been put on Ryan Patrol. But he apparently can't get into any sites or his AIM account so I might as well sleep...

10:46pm: To my future husband, where ever you are
This is was I submitted to my New Testament Class as my letter to myfuture husband. So if you're out there, possibly reading this, awesome and good luck with me.

Dear Future Husband,
I only require one thing from you...and that is honesty. Everything else follows honesty. If you promise me forever, I hope you are being honest with me. If you tell me you love me, I trust you not to lie to me. I trust you when you take your vows to me that you are being honest to me, yourself, and the rest of everyone witnessing our union.

Being honest to yourself, first and foremost, is my main conern. If you are honest with yourself you can be honest with me. Never lie to yourself about who you are, what you feel, your likes, dislikes, and dont lie to me about any of this because I want to be real with you.

Secondly, if you are honest with yourself there is no point in lying to me because if I promise to love you, I will accept your faults along with the rest of you. But I can only truely accept you if I know who you are, on top of you knowing who you are.

Lastly, if you dont lie to me or yourself, you wont lie to the rest of the world. Then I'll know I can truely love you and trust you.

Human nature, in all its essence, forces me to need you and you alone. Enverything in the world can disappear and still I will be satisfied knowing you're still there with me. Human nature also compels you to fulfill my need for you. I trust you to exercise that part of human nature to its fullest extent as I promise to do the same. Only then can we peacefully love each other and have a real relationship.

My Life, my Heart, my Soul.
I love you.

11:34pm: Bible Class
I just found out that I have to write a letter to my future husband in my Bible class. How awkward is that going to be? Since I don't even know who I'm going to marry, or much less what I want in a husband, I think I might just have to talk to her about this little situation. I don't feel comfortable or right writing to my future love…I never have felt comfortable writing about love unless I'm talking to someone who knows what I'm going through or knows where I'm coming from.

My Bible teacher also said that I couldn't write my letters in class to my best friend because he's a teenage guy, like he doesn't know anything about what I'm talking about. I go to an all girls school and I can't even write to my best friend because they don't want us having contact with 'boys.' I really don't care. I'm going to anyway, and she's just going to have to deal with that fact because I'm a fucking rebel and I bend to no one.

11:34pm: Bible Class
I just found out that I have to write a letter to my future husband in my Bible class. How awkward is that going to be? Since I don't even know who I'm going to marry, or much less what I want in a husband, I think I might just have to talk to her about this little situation. I don't feel comfortable or right writing to my future love…I never have felt comfortable writing about love unless I'm talking to someone who knows what I'm going through or knows where I'm coming from.

My Bible teacher also said that I couldn't write my letters in class to my best friend because he's a teenage guy, like he doesn't know anything about what I'm talking about. I go to an all girls school and I can't even write to my best friend because they don't want us having contact with 'boys.' I really don't care. I'm going to anyway, and she's just going to have to deal with that fact because I'm a fucking rebel and I bend to no one.

3:24pm: Don't make me believe I have a chance in hell.
So life really sucks the big one.

My aunt's dying of liver cancer, and she and I are the only ones left who know she's going to pull through.

I stopped eating for a week and lost 15 pounds before I knew it.

My friends suck.

Jai, Matt and Jake are my heroes. <--- that's a good thing

MNI is down...once again.

My room smells like my sisters dog.

etc. etc.

8:52pm: Hm.
Wow it's been quite a while since i landed here. Lots of things have happened, too. Fun and interesting.
I saw the third Harry Potter. my friends and i dressed up for the premiere at 10 am friday june 4 2004. it was a lot of fun.
i've started re-drawing my "voldemort tv series." that should be up on the computer someday in the near future, when i get a scanner, photoshop, and my video editor. ^.^
I've rekindled my love for Eve6 because they're so damn awesome. I really really love them. like a lot.
i broke my toe last night by slamming it full force into my door. that sucked. really badly. yeah, can't walk well.
I've seen all three austin powers now and i really really really *REALLY* love dr. evil with all of my heart.
i took a lion king personality quiz and zazu told me i'm most like scar like it was a bad thing or something.
i have a new obsession with the black sisters from harry potter. bellatrix is so kickass, andromeda is cool because she died and had tonks who kicks ass, and narcissa is just pretty.
ok i'm boring you i'm sure.
long live the dark lord.

8:25pm: Um
Yeah, my house burned down about a month ago, and I'm trying to write a paper on a book i havent read, and I'm tired and hungry and stranded at my dad's office. ^.^ I really need to read some good Harry/Draco slash. Bye then.

11:40am: I was brillig
I love the Cheshire Cat. He really makes me happy. I also love Puff the Magic Dragon- the movie ^.^ . The Wizard of Oz still weirds me out though. Way too normal. Nothing strange enough happens. I applied for a job yesterday and I'm really excited. I'm nervous and I'm excited. I love Armageddon too. Woo. Go team.